Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The waiting game...

38 weeks

Here we are, playing the waiting game!! Baby B could literally make his appearance any minute and we are so excited and ready to meet him!! Everything is about as ready as it could possibly be and we're just waiting for him to give us the green light!

I've had a lot of itching lately on my stomach where these stretchmarks have gotten just out of control. I think the cream I've been using is actually helping them heal, which is causing them to itch, but sometimes it's just unbearable.

We had our breastfeeding class last night and it is a class I would hands down recommend to anyone who plans on breastfeeding. Nick came too and I think it was important to have him there. I know there will be times that I'll get frustrated and want to give up and I think having him there to coach me through using some of the tips we learned last night will help things go more smoothly.

We got the carseats installed last week and that was quite a reality check!! It's crazy to see that base sitting in my car, waiting for the little man to come ride along with me somewhere!

We had a slight 'scare' last week. Not really a scare, but I felt like I was leaking more than normal so we called the doctor. She sent us to the hospital to get checked out and make sure I wasn't leaking any amniotic fluid or anything. Everything checked out fine and as usual, little man was showing off his acrobatics on the monitor and we could hear him kicking and moving around!

We got see the doctor again on Thursday of this week and she's going to check to see if he's dropped any further and if my cervix has opened any. If not, she thinks she'll want to schedule a c-section for anytime between 39-40 weeks. If he has, I'm not quite sure what she'll recommend for us! My birthday is Friday and Mother's Day is Sunday so it'd be the greatest gift of all to get to have him by then, but whenever he decides he's ready. On one hand, I'm so ready to meet him and ready to get back to somewhat normal (sleeping on my stomach, wearing normal clothes, walking in a straight line, etc), but on the other, I know this time is limited and you only get to be pregnant the first time, one time. I want to enjoy it as much as possible.

This past week I've had a lot of nausea, heartburn and even some contractions!! So far none of them have been consistent enough to even think about calling the doctor. It's a weird feeling because yes they are painful and pain is bad, but I almost find myself wanting them to keep going in hopes that this is the real deal! We compared Nick and I's newborn pictures and judging from the sonogram, I think Baby B is gonna look a lot like his Daddy! We'll see hopefully very very soon!

Letter to my little man...

My sweet baby boy,

We are weeks (maybe even days) from being able to finally see your precious angel face. The time has flown by, yet it feels like eternity all at the same time. I simply cannot wait to hold you, kiss you, hug you, stare at you and watch you grow. You have already given your Dad and I so much joy and you aren't even here yet!

I am already so proud of you and unbelievably honored to be your Mommy. You have made the past 9 months the most amazing experience of my life. From hearing you first hearbeat, to getting the first peek at you and learning that you were our baby BOY (which we knew all along), to feeling your first kicks, hiccups and rolls, to even the uncomfortable parts. All of it was worth every second and I would do it again in a heartbeat for the chance to bring you into this world.

Every day I wake up hoping today may be the day I get to finally meet you face to face. While at the same time, I'm trying to soak up every last minute of the pregnancy. Every kick, roll, hiccup means just a little more now because I know they are numbered. They are feelings I imagine I will miss every day. I have loved and cherished being able to have you with me, every minute of every day and knowing that you are safe.

Everything and everyone is ready for you! Your room is waiting for you, the bassinet is sitting right next to my side of the bed, all your clothes are washed and put away and you already have more toys than you'll know what to do with. You big brother Oscar doesn't know it yet, but he's very excited to meet you! I think he will be very protective of you! Your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and all our friends are counting down the days to meet you. You are one lucky and very loved little boy.

The hospital bags are packed with everything any book could ever say we could need or want to have with us. We have gone to every class we could find to be sure we were doing everything just right for you. We've gone to what feels like a million doctor's appointments, taken all the right vitamins, tried to eat well and get some excercise. But none of that matters as much as getting to be your Mommy. You don't know it yet, but your Mommy is sort of a 'planner'. I like to do things in advance and have everything as close to perfect as possible. So I have done everything I could think of to get prepared for your arrival. However, something tells me nothing can truly prepare me for what's about to happen! The good, the bad, and the ugly...I have no real clue what to expect and for once, I couldn't be more excited about it. Whatever it takes to make sure you are safe, healthy and happy, is all I care about.

Mother's Day is this Sunday and while I don't know if you'll be here for it, I still feel like a Mommy already! Taking care of myself to better take care of you for the last 9 months has been the biggest job I've ever had in my life. I didn't do everything perfectly or always the right way, but everything was for you. From here on out, you come before anything and everything in my life. Your health, happiness and safety come before my own and it's something I totally give up for you, without a seconds hesitation.

I can't promise to be the perfect parent, but I can promise with all my heart that I will love you unconditionally for the rest of my life and beyond. You already are the biggest blessing I have ever had in my life and can't wait to see the person you become and share your life with you.

I love you baby boy!